Tonight’s episode opens with the girls gushing over a large box in the lounge room. Some of the girls suggest it could be a puppy and THERE’S NO AIR HOLES, SO IT CAN’T BE A PUPPY, GOSH. They open the box to find heaps of baby shower paraphernalia and give each other mad side eye while trying to figure out which one of them broke girl code and had sexy time with their communal boyfriend. Emma goes one about how she can’t wait to have a family one day and is thrilled to be preparing a baby shower and I gotta say, I just don’t remember the last baby shower I went to where I wasn’t horrendously hungover or on my way to being horrendously hungover. But different strokes for different folks, I guess.
Bachie thinks about love and all his girlfriends in his oversized house when Sam Wood, Snezanna, Laura Byrne and Matty J arrive and of course they all know each other from drinking Aperol Spritzes at Republica. Sam, Matty and Bachie trade war stories about how hard it is to have a plethora of missos. Bachie sets Snez and Laura on a mission to do some recon with the girls and pick one to join their weird Bachelor alumni party.
Snez and Laura go to the Bachie mansion to meet the girls and let them know they’ll be selecting the chosen one to go to dinner and there is so much game face going on right now. There’s a lot of talk about feelings and love and stuffffff. Meanwhile, the lads are kicking around a footy because #manhood and Sam asks Bachie if he’s just pashing everyone. Matty says that every rose ceremony gets harder and harder and the girls get increasingly disappointed and I feel like Rachael did it wrong coz girlfriend was not bothered at all.
Snez and Laura reveal Helena will be going to the dinner party with the Bachie elders. Meanwhile the baby shower gear looks completely untouched and it’s kinda weird. Bachie says he’s surprised the girls picked Helena as she can be hard to read and it’s probably because she’s not a book honey. Matty questions her on when she wants kids because she’s 25 and so young, but I know of people who had three kids by 25, but I guess every family’s different, right?
Back at the Bachie mansion, the girls are lamenting about not being on the Bachie Elder date, eating MAGNUM ice cream because clichés are fun. Emma says she feels Helena is too young to want to settle down and goes on to say Helena has previously said she’s never been in love and has never been rejected by a man and gives the saltiest face I’ve ever seen.
The next day, Bachie and Emma have a single date sponsored by the SYDNEY CHOCOLATE SCHOOL. Rebecca, their instructor, says they’ll be making chocolate using the usual suspects, but also adding in aphrodisiacs and I just don’t know that Emma needs to be any more toey around Bachie, so this can’t end well. They play around with chocolate and smear it on each other and I hope they’re being careful because that shit stains.
At the cocktail party, Osher tells them there are two date cards that the girls will decide who gets to have some one on one time. Sogand takes one like a boss while the other girls hash it out. Ellie admits she has some things she wants to say to Bachie and needs to tell him tonight. Abbie then says she also doesn’t feel great about her relationship with Bachie which is weird because she just told Chelsie she thought her and Bachie had a great connection, but sure. Ellie and Abbie talk it out (sidetone – where the feck are Kristen and Chelsie while all this is going on?), and Abbie waxes on that she’s hanging by a thread even though last week she told Bachie she was falling in love with him on their weird ribbon dance date. Ellie hands over the card to Abbie in what is possibly the biggest gaslight I’ve ever seen.
Sogand and Bachie have some solo time and Sogand admits she’s been standoffish and it’s probably because she’s been busy trying to salt Abbie’s game. Bachie and Abbie have their solo time and she tells him that he’s the most important thing to her in this competition which is great to hear because he is, in fact, the prize. They then get stuck into the cheese and she then tells the girls about the cheese and raspberry she ate with Bachie and the girls are pissed, which is weird to me because cheese is so damn gouda.
Sogand is left soggy after she’s sent home sans rose.