lifestyle · Uncategorized

Bachie Recap – Season 7 Episode 10

Tonight’s episode opens with the girls gushing over how many of Bachie’s girlfriends have gone home. Osher arrives and leaves a date card, which says Mary, Abbie, Helena, Ellie and Emma will be joining Bachie on some sort of potential tightrope situation and the girls are going on about how much fun it will be and no. Stahhp.

The girls meet Bachie and Osher and a bunch of acrobats, and learn that they will be learning and performing some acrobatic moves with Bachie. A man named Alex introduces himself and says a bunch of words but I cannot focus because of the dank AF handlebars he’s rocking.


Bachie and each of the girls learn some tricks, and it’s basically a showdown between Abbie and Ellie and Emma tells Mary she’d rather be at the pub. Same, girl, same. Bachie says Abbie has won some one-on-one time with him because of her mad communication skillz and I just feel like there’s a better way to get a handle(bar) on someone’s ability to communicate than lifting someone up with your feet.

Old mate with the handlebars teaches Bachie and Abbie how to do an acrobatic routine with silk but they kind of just float in the air for a minute and kiss but I’m not sure if it counts because there’s no wine and cheese. Abbie tells Bachie she has all the feelz for him and he gives her a rose and they make out alotttttt.

Bachie and Chelsie have a single date near MERCURE where it’s revealed they’d be walking horizontally down the MERCURE building like secret agents. Chelsie says she’s totally up for it, but laughs a lot which makes me think she’s, in fact, not even a little bit up for it.

Back at the mansion, the girls are grilling Abbie on her one-on-one time with Bachie and Abbie says she’s quite confident in her relationship with Bachie. She tells the girls she could see herself falling in love with him and I’m not sure why she thought they were the right audience for this, but unsurprisingly, no one is thrilled for her.


On the single date, Bachie and Chelsie are met by two men with totally normal facial hair, which instruct them on their walk down the MERCURE building. Bachie is in shock at how high up they are and, yes, Bachie, rooftops are generally higher than your normal ground floor. It turns out, Bachie and Chelsie do not look like two secret agents walking down the building, but more like a couple of Thunderbirds.

Team America

The two retire to a candle filled room in the middle of the day that is no doubt a total fire hazard. Chelsie says she wants to open up to Bachie and they talk lots about feelings and I’m just bothered by the fact that their brie remains untouched. Bachie gives her a rose and they’re a bit cute.

At the cocktail party, Mary suspects she or Nichole with an H will be heading home because neither of them have had a single date with Bachie. Sogand decides she needs to bust out the big guns for Bachie and his loud shirt. She does a belly dancing routine for him and cites Shakira as her inspiration and if that’s not every girl at Retro Bar at 2am, I just don’t know what is.

Ellie gives Bachie a flannel #NotAEuphamism and Sogand, fuming, comes to the stark realisation that she is in a competition with many other women, not just Abbie.

Mary and Nichole with an H are sent home at the rose ceremony. No one is shocked.

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