lifestyle · Uncategorized

Bachie Recap – Season 7 Episode 8

Tonight’s episode opens with Kristen talking about how excited she is to have a single date with Bachie and I just didn’t know that this could happen without Osher allowing it.

Bachie arrives in a canoe and tells her they’ll be canoe-daling (ey eyyy?! See what I did there!). Channel 10 played oriental music in Kristen’s piece to camera and they just need to be better. After their canoeing a whole 10 metres, they play a life sized game of naughts and crosses and Kristen wins a foot massage.

Back at the mansion, Ellie, Emma and Abbie are discussing Kristen’s single date, and wondering if they’re a good match. Abbie says that Kristen is so sweet and nice, but is perhaps too innocent for Bachie and that is straight up a shit sandwich right there.

On the single date, Bachie and Kristen are rubbing coffee on one another and talking about how attractive it is and I feel like I’ve missed something because as a Melburnian, it just seems like a waste of perfectly good coffee? The date ends there which is weird because there wasn’t any cheese or candles.

coffee scrub

The following day, Nikki has a date card, which says Abbie, Ellie, Sogand and Cassandra will be going on a group date with their shared boyfriend. Sogand is less than impressed that Abbie is going, but nonchalant about any of Bachie’s other girlfriends going.

Osher and Bachie meet the girls and introduce Kate, Bachie’s BFF, who is here to interrogate each of the girls and I am so here for the drama that will undoubtedly and completely organically unfold without interruption from producers. Kate says she is looking forward to some honest conversations, so it’s really good Abbie is there since she literally cannot lie and is known for her honesty.

sure jan

Osher reveals each of the girls have a friend join them as well and it’s just a bit lovely to see everyone so happy. Sogand gives her BFF the downlow on the mansion drama and he tells her she just needs to be herself, without the crazy part and if that’s not every girl’s advice to her best friend, I don’t know what is.

BFF Kate pulls aside Ellie for a chat, which seems to go well unsurprisingly because Ellie is damn delightful. Cassandra is next to talk with Kate and talks alotttttttt about her business and I think maybe she thinks she’s on Shark Tank?

Abbie and Kate talk and Abbie reveals marriage and kids are optional for her which is unheard of because she is a woman and must be wedded and prepared for motherhood! Bachie has a chat with all the Bachette’s friends and there is a wonderful matching moment between Sogand’s BFF and Bachie and I am all about it. Turns out Sogand’s BFF spills the tea first and reveals Sogand thinks someone in the mansion isn’t there for the right reasons and oh boy a storm is coming.

matchy matchy

Bachie and BFF Kate trade war stories about their chats. Kate gives Ellie a rave review (duh); reminds Bachie that Cassandra should be pitching to Janine Ellis and the sharks; says Abbie isn’t all about the marriage and kids life; and explains Sogand seemed concerned about Abbie’s intentions.

At the cocktail party, the girls talk about their group date/interrogation with wine. Bachie wears his science glasses and a loud tie. He pulls Helena aside for a chat first and confirms he’s got the feelz and they have a kiss and I wonder if there will be a throw down circa two weeks ago when Bachie and Abbie kissed at the cocktail party. There’s also alotta smeared lipstick on Bachie’s face.

Rachael tells Abbie that Sogand told BFF Kate she’s not here for the right reasons and Abbie is appalled that someone would reveal a private conversation to Bachie and something something pots and kettles something something. Abbie confronts Sogand, who admits she told BFF Kate Abbie seems to have different intentions. Abbie denies it and no resolution is met


At the rose ceremony, there’s lots of voiceovers from Sogand talking up how Abbie’s going home AND WE ALL KNOW THIS WILL NOT END WELL FOR A COCKY SOGAND. Bachie and his loud tie plough through the roses, and Sogand gets one so that stuffs me up. Cassandra is sent home to work on her business, which will surely have gained 10,000 new Instagram followers.

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