Tonight’s episode opens with Monique not looking remotely posed standing in nature lamenting her love journey, admitting that she hasn’t had many first dates at all. She then says she doesn’t usually kiss on the first date, which makes sense because she apparently doesn’t have first dates.
Bachie pulls up in a Ferrari and tells Monique that today is about danger and adventure and I just don’t think driving a fancy expensive car is the time to be reckless. THINK OF THE INSURANCE PREMIUM BACHIE! Bachie revs the engine for what feels like forever to prove that he is a big man.
They pull up to a massive shed in what appears to very obviously be an airport and Monique wonders what they could be doing. The door opens to reveal two RED BARON planes and Bachie reveals they will be co-piloting the RED BARON planes.
Back at the giant house, Vakoo reads a date card which reveals herself, Helena, Nichole with an H, Mary, Emma, Sogand, Cassandra, Rachael, Isabelle and Abbie will be joining Bachie on a really fun and not remotely competitive group date.
Back on the single date, a pilot instructs Monique and Bachie how to fly their RED BARON plane. They fly around in their RED BARON planed and do some fancy tricks and I just really badly want to hear Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins right now. The pair go back to the hanger where Bachie has obviously placed a couch and candles and wine himself. Monique admits she doesn’t date often and Bachie jokes that he probably didn’t need to do much and YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY PLAN THIS DATE BACHIE. GOD.
Also he gives her a rose. #end
Monique returns to the mansion and the girls appear thrilled for her, but kind of in the same way you tell someone you’re fine when you are not actually fine. Yeah, they were that kind of thrilled for her.
The group date gal pals arrive to another large house where it’s revealed they’ll be participating in a photo shoot each with Bachie. Osher announces the photos will be in TV WEEK and the editor of TV WEEK briefs them in about their photo shoot for TV WEEK and I low think between this and the Logies, TV WEEK is grasping for relevancy.
The first shoot is a tribute to Snow White and involves Rachael and Nichole with an H dressed as lady tradies, Isabelle in a red dress and Helena in a long black lace dress and I’m not sure anyone there has seen Snow White because that legit ain’t it.
The next shoot is based on Cinderella and Sogand and Mary are the evil stepsisters and Emma is Cinderella, which was the perfect opportunity for her to unleash her crazy, but she didn’t and I feel cheated.
Next up is the Romeo and Juliet photo shoot with Cassandra whose name I just learned now. The other girls watch on and make super helpful and positive comments like “she’s too short” and “they look bored” and other girl power style statements.
The last photo shoot for the day is the Cleopatra shoot with Bachie, Abbie and Vakoo. Vakoo says she’s excited for Bachie to see her in her element and I just hope she doesn’t smize too hard again. Abbie moves in and steals the show and the other girls are mad that she’s moving in on all their boyfriend.
At the cocktail party, Osher appears and tells the girls that one of two of the girls with the most chemistry with Bachie at the photoshoot will get some one on one time with him and the rest of the bachettes will have to vote. They are in a spin and I just don’t get why democracy doesn’t excite these people the way it should. The girls vote for Abbie over Sogand after a strong election campaign by the former.
Abbie and Bachie have some one on one time and Bachie is wearing his science glasses to remind us all of his great knowledge in science.
They talk about all their chemistry and kiss a lot. She returns to the group sans lipstick and all the girls know and they’re all mad even though they voted for her. Eff #Brexit, this is the real plight on democracy!
At the rose ceremony, Isabelle is sent home and I don’t have anything funny to say about it because I didn’t know she was there.