Last night Osher announced there would be three new contenders entering the Bachie mansion and all the girls seemed #shookt even though I’m pretty sure this has happened on every season of The Bachelor ever…? Badgie went on to talk about his incredible poker face and I’m not saying it was terrible, but don’t quit your day job mate. Deanna was our token elite athlete intruder, reminding everyone once again that Badgie plays sports in case there was any uncertainty. Jamie-Lee asked Badgie if he was an animal person and I’m not sure she knew his nickname is Honey Badger. Brittney was the best thing to happen to this house since Cayla with a C and her energy healing crystals.
In true Bachie fashion, our bachettes were made to run around a field playing a game no one had ever heard of (read: faffing about). At one point, Badgie called the game Quidditch and HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN HARRY POTTER, BADGIE?! THAT’S NOT WHAT QUIDDITCH LOOKS LIKE. Jamie-Lee took a dive during the ‘game’ (which was starting to look a little Hunger Game-ish, but still not Quidditch) and hurt her ankle and was carried out Bodyguard-style by Badgie. Cut to Cat who said she would have broken both ankles if she knew Badgie would have carried her out like that and I don’t know, but that feels a little excessive?
At cocktail party numero uno, Alisha told the intruders The Bachelor is definitely not a nasty competition and at the exact same time, Cat and Romy were analysing Deanna’s midriff and pretending not to know her name.
Badgie took Tenille out on a single date to a honey farm (Honey Badger…get it?!) and I really hope the date co-ordinators upped the ante for the later episodes because a honey farm date is definitely not a thing because bees. It was a pretty run of the mill date and Tenille got a rose and a smooch, so all’s well that end’s well.
At cocktail party numero dos, Romy (dun dun dun) discovered Tenille and Badgie kissed on their date and is outraged because Tenille once a million years ago said she doesn’t like to kiss on the first date. Romy, being the truly wonderful person she is, decided to talk to Tenille, out of concern for her wellbeing of course. Romy lovingly discussed (read: berated) Tenille to the point where Tenille had to storm out, un-mic herself and run around with a producer chasing her shouting ‘BABE IT’S DANGEROUS’ and I’m pretty sure this suburb is the Sydney equivalent of Toorak and not Broadmeadows.
Tenille returned for the rose ceremony like nothing ever happened, which is the best way to recover after a breakdown. Just ask Britney Spears. Rhiannon and Ashlea were left sans roses and left the mansion.
Until next time…like, tomorrow.